Albac - 7 months in. Life goes on.

[lt0402]

My take on the low success rate seen here is that it's pretty accurate. Most R's don't work out. I wish it were not true, but that's what I believe.

FG, I think it depends on what we define the success rate by. If we're defining the success rate to be only reconciliation, then you're probably right. If we're defining the success rate to be reconciliation or betterment of oneself (by detaching and improving our flaws) then I think the success rate is much higher. It seems like DB'ing is primarily working towards betterment of oneself with reconciliation being a secondary objective. [censored], but I think if you achieve your primary objective, you're much more indifferent to the secondary objective being met.

I think you are right Gump so many people (myself included) are not equiped to have a healthy relationship and I think a large chunk of people that are in successful relationships are just waiting for a BD because one of the two is constantly compromising. I see it everywhere I look now.

I believe if I knew what I knew now things would have gone a whole lot differently ( I bet everyone feels the same) wouldn't a rewind botton be nice.

I definitely agree that I'd love a rewind button albac! I think you're right on most people not being equipped to have a healthy relationship. I think a lot of dysfunction in relationships is hidden from public view. If you look though, you can see it. Now that I'm going through this, I see it when we are out with other couples. Whether it's a look, an action, a comment, etc. it's definitely noticeable.

That, to me, is the sad part. I find myself wondering if I do move on and find another MR, how prepared will both myself and my new partner be to avoid these types of mistakes. I'd hate to get back into a MR where either myself of someone else is compromising to keep things going. It wasn't fun the first time...

I got a phone call from W tonight and she is still off in wonderland. She opened the call with "you don't have cancer do you?" I was like I hope not.

A perfect response! Some weird messages coming from your W for sure albac. Hang in there bud!