Just Tired

[TiredTN]

Ahhh...so the few weeks of relative calm have passed. I was out of town last night when I get this text from my wife, "Your stupid fat talk is paying off. Andrew is pitching a fit about eating at Moe's tonight!!!!! He and she does NOT need to be up till 930 10pm at night!"

Okay, so that was just a text, not the end of the world, but what is this about?

I get home late and everyone is in bed so this morning we are getting ready for school and I have a few minutes alone with Andrew and he tell me he just didn't want to eat his cookie at Moes because he had a sugary dessert the night before at church dinner. After dropping the kids off at school I come back home to ask the wife about it and she just starts going off again about "fat talk."

Putting it all together it seems Andrew didn't want the cookie, my wife wanted him to get it anyway so she could eat it, but it escalated into a fight between the two of them right there at Moe's ending with Andrew crying. All over a cookie.

All of this lead me to what John Gottman in "The Seven Princples for Making Marriage Work" calls flooding. What that kind of means is any little thing that happens (like your wife and son having a fight over a freakin' cookie) floods your mind with all the built up bad memories, anxieties, anger, frustration, resentment from the past.

So there I was in the car on the way home saying out loud to no one there, "We are going to get a divorce, we are going to get a divorce." Arghhh!!!!!!