Thank you very much for your kind words Job as they do mean a lot to me. I might sound crazy but I do believe that things happen for a reason. In my case I was relying on H to make me happy, feel loved and help with my depression. With all this, I have now learnt that he couldn't fix me, i'm the only person that can do it! I'm not ready yet to forgive him and forget, but I'm starting to feel thankful for what has happened as I couldn't have carried on with the life I was leading! It wasn't healthy for us and the kids. I know that in time I'll thank him for what he has done as my back was against the wall and only such a chock could have forced me to look deep inside me.
I still love him, but I know we can't go back together, not because he doesn't care about me but because H hasn't done any soul searching to why he did what he did, and he hasn't started to work on him as he doesn't see anything wrong in his behaviour. I'm hoping for his sake that OW will be able to provide him with what he is looking for.
H gave me two beautiful kids, we had some good times and at one point I know he loved me, unfortunately his issues ( as well as mine) got in the way of what could have been a good marriage. It wasn't meant to be. This taught me that I'm worthy, that I'm caring and loving.
I don't want to become like my friend, I have accepted my responsibility for the demise of my marriage, and I'm improving what needs to be changed. My friend and H don't see any wrong with them ( H blames me, she blames her XH), unfortunately I have learnt that in a relationship it's 50/50 for the end of it. Both aren't prepared to look introspectively. Their choice not mine.
