No, it doesn't make you a doormat to not want revenge on your h for what he's done. If you can be friendly w/your h and keep your expectations at zero, then do so. You are the only one that can determine what kind of relationship that you develop w/him.
I enjoyed reading your posting and you are on the right track. You do not want to become a bitter old woman. You want to be that beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate woman that you already are. Being bitter closes you off from many wonderful experiences and relationships in life.
No, Rouky, you are not being a doormat at all. I think you are being the lighthouse in the storm w/her light shining very brightly.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
