Thanks for stopping by Esame. Yes, it was such a relief. This was the first summer I ever wanted to go quick. The kids are coping well but I can tell everything is affecting them. There are times when they're wanting w's attention and she just can't see it. I pointed it out to her yesterday while it was happening. She's too stressed right now, hopefully when she gets settled it will help. You're sure right about the honesty, she still hasn't looked too far inward about our/her troubles. Maybe a few quick glimpses but she still blames everyone else for her poor decisions. Good thing is tough that I'm getting blamed less.
More journaling.. Yesterday w came over in the morning to bring the kids to their first day of school. I think maybe I was right about her being a little embarrassed about bringing the kids to school because she was uptight at home and on the way but seemed better walking back to my house. A couple more teachers made comments about how glad they were to see the kids and they were afraid they wouldn't be there this year. Then walking back a lady I didn't know stopped and said to w, omg i didn't know you were still here, so good to see you, etc. and about a half block later it happened again with one of s's friend's mom so she was obviously telling people the kids wouldn't be there this year.
W talked more on the way home and was nice. She told me the lady I didn't know worked next to her old office and she separated last year, was in aa, etc and that they hung out sometimes. Then later w brought up how she (w) learned she can't drink like she was in her 20s anymore and only has a drink or two now when she goes out (also making comments about getting old again). Strange, this is the first time she's said anything about it to me or even acknowledged it. I did bring it up (her going out every weekend, not coming home, blacking out - which to my knowledge has stopped but she is smoking again) a couple weeks ago when we were talking as I felt the time was right/truth dart. This was never a problem before the MLC. We talked a bit more then she brought up wanting a new car to me again, this time she mentioned a truck. At my house I told her to let me know how her interview she had scheduled went, good luck, and I'd see her later.
She dropped the kids off at my office after school but was way late picking them up (she went and met with guardian attorney). She asked if I wanted to go eat dinner with them before she left. I asked if she really wanted me to go she said "yes, it's fine." I bought us dinner and we had a nice conversation the whole time. She was asking me about what I thought about the job she was interviewing for, what I thought she should do about her apartment situation (her friend offered for her to live there but the kids would be with me and the lady showing the apartment she looked at really wants her and offered her a better one and to split her deposit up). She was telling me about the job interview/job then was telling me about wanting to take a vacation, etc. Then she brought up a truck again, saying "I bet you surprised I want a truck huh." Then she asked if I wanted the car back when she gets one. It's good to have goals but talk about counting chickens and being all over the place. I am surprised she was asking about what I thought though, and talking through dinner, that's a change.
Now today she's been pretty cold. This morning she texted me she has a follow up interview Monday. She seemed down, she thought she'd get it today. I was encouraging, reminding her that's usually how it works, it was great and she'd get it. Tomorrow is her bday, she mentioned that the elephant wine bottle holder I got her for Christmas was still at step mil's and she was using it because it looks neat and they're trying to sell their house so I got her another one in addition to the kids' gift for her. She won't be back until Sunday though.
S is now sick so we were up half the night and I worked from home today. Looks like I will be tomorrow too. I really hope I don't get sick again, this is getting ridiculous. I guess this is taking a toll on the kids' immune systems as well, but then again with some of the things they do before I can stop them it's no wonder were sick so much, lol. Hopefully we'll be well enough to do something this weekend.
