Chapter 4 - Acting As If

[bigybiz]

So it's becoming clearer and clearer that the next step for me is to start Acting As If I'm going on without her - with the intention the actions will stick and become my new normal.

So let the new chapter begin.

On the whole I'm doing OK. I'm still struggling with focus on work so that is a work on progress. My appetite is up which is alarming as I've not been running in about two weeks. I sprained my ankle (doing something stupid on vacation), so I'm in recovery. I'm worried about putting on weight. I have been keeping up my dumbbells, push ups, etc - the running is the anchor of my fitness.

Today was a introduction for the Act As If

W and I were together for 3 hours today due to a medical appt for S10.

I let her know a week ago that S10 and I will meet her there, so we will not travel together (she lives quite close). While we waited, I was quiet and only spoke when she asked about about S15 and his plans, some of the improvements I've made around the house (she was very happy with them) and some larger family events, etc.

We were alone a couple of times during morning, I was quiet, positive and very still. She wanted to start making plans S10 during the new school year. I had at one point she started in on the conversation re: discuss upcoming plans for her and S10, dates, etc.

When I realized this is not acting as if.

I said to her, "We should leave this for one of our regular Saturday 30 min meetings - are we going to resume those?" We have only had one in 4 weeks. She replied with her usual, "I don't get to see S10 much and it takes time out of my visit". I simply stated, "I had proposed off days and later in the evening originally, when you countered with Saturday morning". She acknowledged her desire for the sat meetings - then said "let me know your thoughts about the meetings". Then went back to being quiet.

I will continue to make decisions about the house, the kids, etc on my own. If she chooses to get involved, I will let her in a little. I won't mention the meetings again, etc.

Let's see what happens.



http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2687818#Post2687818