ForGump -- that behavior is part and parcel of the WW from what I'm learning. Really, what would you expect from someone so deep in the fog and so Self-absorbed that she would cheat, thinks little to nothing about impact on you or your children and is apparently wishing for D -- with no real regard for the consequences -- like we used to long for Christmas when we were kids? I posted in lt0402's thread that it might be helpful at times to view her and this behavior like Marlin Perkins might observe an exotic African animal on the the Sarenghetti. They really are that far out -- and it keeps you at a healthy(ier) distance, emotionally.
JRuss, you have no idea how many times I've used this! Silly as it sounds, it's really helped instill some humor in some of the more ridiculous things I've witnessed. I tip my hat to you sir!
Originally Posted By: ForGump
OK I have thought this before, and I know it's a common phenomenon among WW's, but I don't think I've said it:
My WW is behaving like a jerk to me. She treats me like she's annoyed or angry at me all the time. She's curt in everything she says. I think she has to do this to distance herself from me, and because she needs to feel contempt for me to justify her leaving me.
Really makes me wonder where the woman I married went....
FG, first, I'm sorry you're having to experience this. As you know, I've been going through the same w/ my WW and it's absolutely brutal. I think you're spot on that they use it to justify all of the out of character things they are doing on their end. If they can de-humanize us, it lines up nicely with the story they're trying to spin in their minds.
From reading other's stories, it seems like standing up for yourself respectfully and bettering yourself shakes up the story they're working on. Maybe when you make it so blatantly obvious that you are not a horrible person it starts to focus their spotlight back on them and their faults. Add to that some level of detachment and you continue to shake the foundation of what they've built. Probably stating the obvious, but it all comes back to focusing on ourselves and trying to survive their onslaught without it phasing us.
I'm not detached, but I can see the validity to getting there. I do feel that day by day we are all getting closer, even as our WWs try to suck us back into their vortex. It's getting to the point where they can't pull us back in that's tough.
Hang in there brother and sorry for the crap you're having to go through!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
