A WW? (3)

[lt0402]

Thank you Sandi. I hadn't realized how important body language was until she read mine as highly aggressive during our blow up a couple weeks ago. I'm trying to be softer w/ my body language, though it's tough at times. I'm typically a pretty laid back, but confident person around family. I need to get to some mix of being laid back but confident again. It's tough though, when all I see from her is someone who would gladly lie to my face. Detached I am not.

I agree on the choice of wording as well. I've found that a single phrase can completely send a conversation b/t the two of us off track. It's happened a couple times now w/ what I'd thought were innocuous word choices. It's difficult for me to manage bc I tend to speak before I think, but I'm going to have to slow down and analyze before responding now.

My WW seems to be baiting me into MR conversations, though she says she doesn't want to have them. They invariably end up w/ us getting to some dialogue around why would I want to save our MR. I believe I need to stop these before they get to that point. I'm starting to think she's using them to gauge where I am and what I'm thinking. Maybe I should have realized that all along.

Regardless, am adding that as a goal. MR conversations get killed before we get to that point, or we just stop having MR conversations period until OM is out of the picture, or I just validate and don't actually speak my mind during them.

My level of anger seemed to get her attention post-blow up two weeks ago. It led to some really strange behavior out of her. However, that could be for any # of reasons, not bc she wants me around as plan B. Who knows.

I'm thinking about paying the retainer for an attorney in the next week or so. She's already retained one, and based on her taking the Trust and Will documents to them I'd assume they're working on something. Probably best to be prepared if she does come down w/ a separation agreement shortly. The check clearing from the bank will cause a stir b/t WW and I. Maybe I address it with her beforehand.

Sandi, thank you for stopping by as always!