I refuse to do any snooping or spying and haven't done so since I read her texts and confronted her. I've found that putting any energy into snooping is just detrimental to my own mental state.
I definitely agree with you on this, don't do it if you can. It certainly hasn't helped my mental state. Plus, once you start it becomes an addiction of sorts; very difficult habit to break.
It's detrimental you your mental well-being and to the well-being of the relationship, but it does become addictive, doesn't it? Sometimes it even feels like we do things we know will just make ourselves feel rotten.
After a brief stint of snooping I realized it just made me more anxious and that's part of the reason I confronted, so I could be done with the spying.
Also, at this point, I'm sure there would be all sorts of spewing about me to her friends and I don't care to read that at this point when I'm trying to build my self confidence again.
Very detrimental to the situation and yourself once you have determined that a PA/EA is going on. There's absolutely nothing to be gained from that point forward.
Sorry you're here CA27, but there's a great group here to help. We're definitely here for you bud, hang in there!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18