I haven't given up on you just yet. There is something that isn't adding up w/your situation. Your wife may be a WAW or in MLC, you could very well be the one in crisis or you are a troll who comes here to post to get reactions for jollies and seek out info from the posters for your book. For whatever reason, you chose to come here and post on an open forum. You do not have any control over the threads on the forum, but you do have the right to have people respect you, just as the posters have the right for you to respect them. I have made it a point to caution you several times about being mindful of what you post that can be interpreted as offensive or hurtful to others and yet, again, you come here do the same thing again.
I do realize that English is your second language so, I'm going to rephrase something that I have posted and now reposted for the third time. I do not want to hear about how you treated your wife. I want an honest answer to the following comments that your wife may have stated about you. I do not want to hear (again) that you respected her, loved her and treated her nicely. I want to know what your wife has stated about you.
So, here's what I posted: "Generally when they say we are controlling, they can also tend to point out that we are manipulative, stubborn, condescending, don't listen, judgmental, determined to have our way and we want to always be right and we always want the last word in any conversation or discussion. Has your wife ever stated that you don't value you her as an equal partner because she's a woman? If you don't feel comfortable answering the above, I do understand. These examples are just a few of what some of the MLCers will toss out for justification."
Did your wife ever address these issues with you? What else did she say about you and your personality besides being controlling? There's no shame in answering my questions because we all have heard some version of the above comments one time or another from our spouses.
Why did your wife get a restraining order on you? What were the allegations? Why do you have to have supervised visitation w/your daughter? It has to be something more than just a couple of spankings. Do you treat your two children the same? Do you correct your son the same way that you do your daughter? Child Services does not take allegations lightly. They do the investigations and then determine whether or not supervised visits are necessary.
Cld, I want to close out my posting by addressing this one thing w/you. You may not realize it or even care one fig about it, but many, many of the posters who are separated and/or divorced are the ones that have helped others succeed in getting their marriages back on track. The posters that succeeded couldn't have done it w/o learning from those who went before them and educating themselves by reading the threads and asking questions. Sure, some of the postings get a little bit heated, but sometimes they have to be that way to get you to think and focus on what we are posting. To indicate in your postings that the comments and/or advice that people give you is not what you are looking for is not the way to go, especially when you are on a board that is open to the public and people come here and devote their time, effort, and share their experience and sage advice w/others. You are basically stating to those posters that they have nothing to offer to you or to those who are reading your threads. You have so much to learn from the posters and yes, even those you don't want to hear from.
And, for the record, moderators who are here periodically throughout the day volunteer their time and advice to help others...we are not paid employees. If you aren't happy w/the advice you are being provided, you may contact the staff and set up an appointment for counseling w/one of their professional counselors. I'm sure you'll get more bang for your dollars by doing so. Will you be receptive to what they advise you to do? Probably not...but I wanted to suggest this as an option to you.
So, I do welcome the challenge of working w/you because I do sense that there is some other underlying issues going on w/you and your situation. It's your choice to return or not, but I do wish you well.
