I refuse to do any snooping or spying and haven't done so since I read her texts and confronted her. I've found that putting any energy into snooping is just detrimental to my own mental state.
I definitely agree with you on this, don't do it if you can. It certainly hasn't helped my mental state. Plus, once you start it becomes an addiction of sorts; very difficult habit to break.
Me 50, ExW 49 T21, M13+ S15, S13 BD #1: 25-Jan-2016 (EA confirmed & ILYBINILWY) Sept-2016 Mediated Sep. starts Oct-2016 W petitions for D Jan-2017 R w OM admitted/confirmed Jun-2018 D'd