Maybs - Pt3

[maybs]

I have been having a very stressful week.

Work has been crazy busy and just exhausting mentally and physically.

On top of that I have been helping my best friend move. So we both work all day at demanding jobs and then leave work and go move from 5pm-midnight-ish. Supposedly her D and her D's BF are "helping" but really they're just acting like teenagers and not doing much of anything, so it's pretty much all us.

On top of that I have been feeling very stressed/anxious/guilty about a ridiculous argument we all had a few days ago. My best friend that I've been helping move is someone that my W also knows through work, but they aren't very close especially now. So basically what happened (and this is probably going to make no sense)

My W contacted me because we were talking about something D related and while on the phone she said something to me about this friend but didn't elaborate.

After the convo with W I called friend and asked her about it and kept it strictly between her and I because it was something about if she was giving my W info on me (basically did you betray my trust?), I did not tell her my W said it. I DID NOT tell her my W said it and I did not talk about it at all except in the context of "Why did you do xx to me?" I don't know if that makes sense.
Anyways so friend tells me the whole story and I'm like "oh okay that makes sense. We are good then." End of story.

So W and friend have their own issues because W told everyone at work something that friend explicitly told us not to tell anyone. So friend texts W this whole long thing that basically outlines that she feels betrayed by W spreading the rumors about her (justified IMO) and says that she feels used by W asking for info about me (also justified as that is all my W tries to talk to her about anymore) and basically tells my W that she doesn't feel she is being a true friend to her and that she is choosing to stand by me through this and doesn't want to betray me so she thinks they shouldn't speak.

She also pretty much left me out of it and made it about their issues.

But then W texts me all angry again because "you must have said something to her to make her go off on me and you just want to start some drama."
And at this point I didn't know what my friend had said to her so I'm like "I really don't know what you're talking about, but I can tell you're upset."
And it just goes downhill from there. And she's just yelling at me and I'm just ignoring it/validating her feels of being upset but I'm refusing to get involved in their argument.

Then this whole thing about how I don't trust my W gets brought back up and at that point I couldn't deal with it anymore. No I don't trust her. She walked out on me and lied to me and is having an A...the fact that she thinks I would trust her is just absurd to me. But I didn't want to get into it with her so I just continued validating and basically trying to stay out of it.

But anyways, the stress and anxiety over this whole situation has had me in knots. Mostly I feel guilty that my W is 100% denying that she blabbed friends secret to everyone. I SAW HER AND HEARD HER MYSELF! I know she did it. So I feel bad that this has escalated to not only is she treating me subpar but now she's also taking it out on my friends and really my friend doesn't deserve that. She was not a part of any of our relationship issues and the only thing she has done through all of this is stand by me and be there for me (which I recently found out that my W went to this person and asked her to "be there" for me). So the fact that my W is upset that she asked this person to "be there" for me and is now mad that we have developed a very close and strong friendship... I'm just not entirely sure what she expected to happen. Honestly, I feel like she thought friend would be there for me but remain loyal to her and that she could continue to use that to get information about me.

I don't know, I really feel guilty about their friendship ending, I never wanted that to happen to either of them. I feel badly that friend is being treated poorly just for being close with me. And on some level I do feel bad for WW for losing yet another close relationship because of her poor life decisions...But the guilt I feel is related to my friend and not my W. I fully believe that W set this up on her own and it was really only a matter of time before that relationship imploded on itself because of factors that W controlled (ie. telling people friends business) but I still feel bad for friend because it [censored] to lose a friend like that.

What I do not feel is influenced by W's emotions or any of her other crazy bullsh!t.

It's just been a long week...