Darkness - she definitely did cross a boundary when started flirting with someone at work that she had a crush on and tried to get them interested in her. She shared her thoughts about having an affair with her girl friend in detail. So yes, she definitely crossed the line even though it seems to have been mostly fantasy. All of those text messages are what caused the separation when I confronted her about it.
When I agreed to move back in , I said I would stay at the house for financial reasons and would do so so long as neither of us were dating or getting involved with other people. She agreed to this arrangement. You are right, Darkness, whether or not she is holding to it, I have no idea. I assume she can't or won't for very long honestly, as this appears to be the main reasons she is done with the marriage--she wants to feel new love again.
I refuse to do any snooping or spying and haven't done so since I read her texts and confronted her. I've found that putting any energy into snooping is just detrimental to my own mental state.
I have a hunch that she is about to tell me herself that she can't go on not dating or that she is seeing someone. Somehow she is convinced that she will be able to pull off some epic cake eating--that I will condone her and continue to support her. On reflection, I haven't really acted in any way to suggest otherwise to her, have I?
In hindsight, moving back in with her still adamant about not wanting to reconcile was a BAD IDEA. It's a tough lesson to learn. I am working on getting through this episode and peeling back the seemingly infinite layers of the onion of detachment...
