But anyway, I have hit the realization that I have withdrawn, as is my pattern in life and I am finding comfort in simply being alone, by myself. Comfort being alone, but feeling lonely when with people. Not sure how to process this. But, the alone time is when I start fighting in my head about my lack of progress in life. Ugh!!! It is a vicious circle that I can not seem to shake.
Why would you say, that you are like that ?
Originally Posted By: SH_
I have come in many times to interact and then would get caught up reading others situations and go into mr fix it mode and try and lend my help. I think I do that to avoid my own issues. Or maybe Bluwave is on to something as it relates the the Mr. Nice guy syndrome. I am not entirely sure.
OPS buddy....
Other People's Shidt..
It's a trap that is easily fallen into here.
Ever read a thread, and think "damn, that sounds just like my wife" , and then for some strange reason, we tend to expect it to happen to us. We go down that Rabbit Hole, and wait, hell, maybe even WORK to make it happen ....
Watch your expectations, be it expecting something good, or expecting something bad....
For me ?
It was when I got to be totally honest with myself, and what was going on around me, that I got a firm grip on that.
For the fixing aspect ?
Something I try to ask now, is...
Does this person want it fixed, or do they just want to vent...
Which leads me to....
Originally Posted By: SH_
But that has become draining of late as I see so much hurt and the more surprising thing is the bitterness that has come up. So much lashing out at those that have gone through this and are in better places and trying to help. I just don't get it. Folks that really don't have any obligation other than to pay it forward and the nastiness that is tossed at them simply because one does not like the style for which the advice is given.
I mean, do you yell at the doctor that tells you to stop smoking because you have cancer?? Or tells you to stop eating like shi7 because your cholesterol is way high. WTF?!!? I'm sorry, but stop whining and look in the mirror. It is not ALL your spouses problems that you are the LBS. When you get here you say "it is all my fault my s is leaving me." Folks point out that it is not, and that it is 50/50. Then you flip and blame the WS for everything............ and get upset when you are given advice to help you out. Why the heck do you come here looking for support, when in fact it seems like you just want pity. And there I go again....ramble on..... SH, just STFU!!
Yea.....I'm not understanding the dis-respect of late.
I'm not saying that any of us vets should be on a pedastol...
However....
We have been there, done that...held ourselves accountable for our actions...
We are where you ( not you per se) want to get to...
There MIGHT be some valuable information there.....
So maybe you shouldn't STFU on this one....
I'm pretty quick to call BS when I see it...
I am also pretty quick anymore, to wish luck and walk away from some guy who wants to roll around in the pity-party sandbox...
Originally Posted By: SH_
"Your strongest muscle and worst enemy is your mind. Train it well."
