Chiming in on your thread as I have been reading along what has been unfolding so far.
Oh dear, you have really upset some of the greats and that will put other posters off from visiting you. The point of being here on this board is to find the help and support you will need to get you through this time, so please try not to alienate people, they are only trying to help you.
I know you will probably not listen to me, but you asked for my story, I gave it and you jumped on it, its what you have been seeking out, the hope and possibility - what you don't seem to realise is the hard work I did on myself during the time my h was gone from my life. I did a lot of internal work, seeing that I had a lot of issues myself, parts of me I really did not like, I had lost myself in my marriage.
I did not sit around "waiting" for my h to return, I left him alone to get on with his life and started to rebuild mine. I was very fortunate to stumble across this board and with advice and guidance from the vets and those who are further down the road from me, with support and kindness from those who joined around the same time, I have rebuilt my life, I have become a stronger, better and happier person. I am extremely grateful and humbled by the love and support I get from the wonderful people here.
One thing I do know for sure is if I had remained the same person as my h left, he would not have returned to my life. I strongly urge you to look at this time apart from your w as a gift, its a chance to look inward at yourself and really do some soul searching, you are not perfect, the sooner you accept this better.
From what I have observed you seem to have swallowed a MLC encyclopedia, backed up by some dodgy research papers seemingly written by a high school student. I would advise that you dont believe everything you read and certainly don't offer your information as advice to others - when you are new to here, you are raw and broken, so being given information that is incorrect or being given false hope, is not kind.
May I ask, why are you here? What would like to achieve from being on this board? I ask out of interest, as you seem to push back and tell everyone they are wrong all the time, so I am a little confused as to what you are seeking if you know all the answers already ......
