Re: My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 3

[Pax_luv]

Hi CLD,
Hope you are feeling good. I don't believe I've posted on your thread before. I am an avid reader, but don't have much to post to others. I found divorce remedy the day before I moved out of my house well over a year ago; And was exposed to this community shortly thereafter. I read tons and tons and tons and I still do (sometimes I check in here multiple times a day). Not because I'm nosey, but because I continue to learn from everyone else's situations. So many of us have been crushed to smithereens by our ex's. In sharing our stories we become even more vulnerable and sometimes we can feel scrutinized.... But the truth is, this really is a safe space. For all of us participating, theres a lot of emotional work that happens behind the scenes in our real lives and I have no doubt that you are processing things in your way.

I rarely post to others because I have minimal contact with my wh. I really can't give advice.... Only encouragement. We have a mere seconds of interactions each week and I have no idea what does work and what doesn't work in terms of DB protocol. I have been DBing solo for over a year as he's never given me any breadcrumbs or shown any interest in working things out or even talking things through. He's still hell bent on the fact that we should have never gotten married..... And yet I finally got to place where that doesn't derail me for the rest of the day. You've heard it before and I'll say it again... DBing is all about saving yourself. It's a one man show from here on out, CLD. There's absolutely nothing you can do to convince your wife otherwise. You can only work on yourself an be the best CLD possible for you and your kids.

With that, I want to be a friend and let you know how lucky you are to have these DB legends reach out on your thread. When I saw posts by J3B, Mr Bond, Wonka, Ericsmants, and others, I immediately clicked on your thread to see what they had to say. They are like unicorns these days and rarely spotted! Their comments and advise are coming from a place of experience. They know what they are talking about! I would have loved some 2x4s from them. (And as you know, 2x4s are par for the course here in our community.... It's just a form of tough love.... And it really does come from a place of compassion)

I remember when I posted in newcomers, Sandi made some comments on my threads. I must say, I got palpitations when I had seen her response. Why? Because she's been there and done that. She's come out the other side and has experience and pearls to share. We haven't come out the other side yet... We're not even close. We're still in the thick of things. I personally would feel so fortunate to have a virtual friend, like these fine humans, reach out to me and say, "hey, I've been down this street before.... Here's how you can try to navigate the terrain"

The vets are our lifelines!

So, why am I rambling now? Because, I too care about you and your marriage/ wife and I want you to come out of this with everything you hope for. I want to whisper in your ear and tell you that you have the best of the best coming out of the forest to help you and offer advice. You are so fortunate!!! They can't tell you what to do... They can only offer a different perspective. It's up to you if you want to hear it or not. Again... Sometimes it's difficult to get the 2x4s.... But it does come from a place of compassion.

I Apologize for the ramble. As someone who is trying to DB right along side you, I just wanted to reach out and remind you that this is part of DBing and a result of putting our situations out there. I hope you have a nice day CLD and I'm rooting for you.