Thanks everyone for your comments and support. I've been off the forum for a while and also out of contact with W as well. Focus I'm more impressed with how you deal with everything to be honest. Since I met W for a drink we haven't had any sort of contact. S went to W's village with her and one of his friends for a few days. I went back to UK to spend time with my parents which was nice. S and his friend spent their time either sleeping or partying in nearby villages. Normal for a European teenager! I've spoken to him since and I have the sensation that he had little contact with W, even though the three of them shared a room. We've had some quiet days at home, S has been good company and affectionate. He's met up a couple of times with his mother in the last ten days for a coffee or a meal. Tomorrow we are off to London for a few days together. I'm looking forward to it but at the back of mind it brings back memories of trips together as a family. I really find it hard to understand how W is happy to give up her son and husband for what she has now. I know I can't do anything to change things and I have to live my own life but it really saddens me to think that W is happier now without us.
I know I can't do anything to change things and I have to live my own life but it really saddens me to think that W is happier now without us.
How do you know she is happier now?
She may be relieved she isn't dealing with the conflict. She may be experiencing a rush of pleasures of the flesh denied during her commitment to you. She may be full of hope that things will be better for her. But she might also be conflicted, mourning, confused, and horrified with her loss.
What I found is that as the time and emotional distance between me and XW grew, more of what I *thought* she might be feeling was mindreading and projection. She may be happier now. She may not be. I have no idea. But I have no reason to conclude how she feels and feel bad about it.
Good to hear from you, you're holding up strong. Thanks for checking in.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Scrant, A lot of people here just want to argue with you and make you feel worthless and put all the blame on you. Don't listen to them, be patient, your wife will come back and you will be happier than ever, you just have to believe that she will.
Scrant, A lot of people here just want to argue with you and make you feel worthless and put all the blame on you. Don't listen to them, be patient, your wife will come back and you will be happier than ever, you just have to believe that she will.
I'm not sure if this was aimed at me but there haven't been many other substantial posts lately...so just in case, let me clarify to Scrant- My message was one of optimism.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Scrant, A lot of people here just want to argue with you and make you feel worthless and put all the blame on you. Don't listen to them, be patient, your wife will come back and you will be happier than ever, you just have to believe that she will.
I'm not sure if this was aimed at me but there haven't been many other substantial posts lately...so just in case, let me clarify to Scrant- My message was one of optimism.
Scrant, A lot of people here just want to argue with you and make you feel worthless and put all the blame on you. Don't listen to them, be patient, your wife will come back and you will be happier than ever, you just have to believe that she will.
I'm not sure if this was aimed at me but there haven't been many other substantial posts lately...so just in case, let me clarify to Scrant- My message was one of optimism.
