Are you in a "no-fault" state? In the worst case, if your W wants to file a divorce, can she make it happen?
Re: snooping -- it sounds like you are certain there is/was a PA. I get the burning temptation to get the details. But I also believe that it's a pathological desire. I think we have more to lose by finding out the details. It's just going to burn you up inside to have the details.
Re: family life post-divorce -- I don't think what your W suggests is necessarily ludicrous. It may be ludicrous for you, but there are all kinds of divorces. Some couples remain unbelievably cooperative after the divorce, going as far as to share an apartment, and take turns coming to the original house. Kind of similar to what your W suggests. It's all about where you two are as a couple. For me, I couldn't do it. It would just be too hard for me emotionally to have my daily routine enmeshed with hers, to see her all the time.
My two cents.
It looks like you did everything very well from the beginning. I respect that. Most of us screw it up for a few months, before getting our heads screwed back on. Sorry for the reason you're here, but glad you found the forum.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
