Feeling lost 2

[srt]

I've done some reflecting since my last post to think over how I have been.
I know I am still too attached, and tbh feel myself getting sucked back in, I know this is not doing me any good to the point where I feel incredibly anxious on our "dates".
I know I need to relax, chillout and stop getting worked up about this. W has said she does want to see me just doesn't want to feel pressured, so I suppose I need to respect that.

I terms of our sitch I think she has finally twigged what a D would look like and has decided not to pursue the for the time being.

The difficulty I have is she is not "all in" to the dating on reconciliation, yet I know my db'ing pisses her off. Yet in my attempts to reach out I don't feel she is willing to reciprocate, it is just taking and requesting things by her. I'm not sure if I want to let her do this, since I would not be happy in a one-sided M.

She has said she thinks I am a wonderful dad, and can see herself in a relationship with me, but my feelings seem to be sabotaging things. I have made a situation out of nothing a couple of times recently and I know I need to stop it - previously I was cool as a cucumber but now feel like this is the last throw of the dice and I'm desperate for it to work.

What I'm finding hard is my sitch seems in-between full on db and piecing, yet I want to ensure I'm not doing any more damage.