The Fight for Self II

[RSG]

Mine IS seeing a therapist. She is apparently working on things like her temper, patience, gratefulness etc. She may or may not be talking about "us" but I'd never know obviously. W has apologized for losing her temper with me (usually via text) a few hours after being ugly with me. That'd never happen if I haven't learned how to control my anger and not fight right back in the moment.

She has walked back from "I'm done" to "No, I don't want a divorce (right now)." She had a mini breakdown the other day, over her impending surgery, work, insurance, S and his therapy/school issues and of course "us." I can see steps forward, but I also see how confused she seems to be. If I stepped in it and said "I love you" or some such, I bet we'd be divorced within a few weeks.

I don't know how good my therapist is, but she's great at getting me to talk. The release is amazing for me, and she asks good questions. She gives me a female perspective. One important thing she's showed me is that, even though I've been working on it, I'm still not communicating well enough. As an introvert, it's always hard to take everything out of your head and explain it either in the details or you take for granted that some things should be obvious. I've felt awkward in trying to validate feelings, and show I'm listening instead of trying to fix and the therapist noted a few examples I gave and she said they were really good. It helps to get a seal of approval for something like that!

As for your W relationship with S, my wife hasn't broken down about it but it's obvious. She's told me she can't parent w/o me, but I CAN parent w/o her. That's something I never would've imagined. I have noticed he starts to cry and talks about Mommy's house, but he speaks so softly, and so garbled I don't know what he's saying. He could be saying I don't want to go to Mommy's house or I miss Mommy, I just can't tell but I am monitoring. All that to say, your W will likely get frustrated and cry if she can't take care of your boy. But it'll take a confluence of events for real results to show.