The Fight for Self II

[ForGump]

Man, I want to tell your W -- and mine (!!!) -- No [censored] sherlock! What did you THINK a separation or a divorce was going to do to our young kids!!!

But I won't say that.

I think this is where the literature about narcissism is helpful. My W also rejects professional help. She thinks they're all quacks. She believes they might help normal people but she's above all of that. She'd rather self-medicate and numb herself every night w/ mj. I think all of that is rooted in extreme insecurity. To get help from a professional is to open yourself up, make yourself vulnerable to some level of examination by another person. She fears judgment to an extreme degree (while being very judgmental herself). So, to protect herself from having to do that, to give herself reason to say No to help, she makes herself believe they're quacks and she's above them. Which, I believe, is a form a narcissism.

I get help from IC but I do have a healthy dose of skepticism. I believe you have to shop for one that works well with you. I don't believe everything they say or advocate. But I am humble enough to recognize that I have something to gain from talking to one.

I asked my current IC early on, "Why do you think you can help me?" She replied after brief silence, "Because I've been doing this a long time and I know something about human nature." Great answer.