The Fight for Self II

[CT1118]

CT1118-- remind me ... is your W getting help from an IC? Can you tell if the IC is any good?

She's got a lot of long-standing, difficult personal history and psychology, and until/unless she starts to deal with those, your M will be difficult. (This dimension is what your M and my M have in common).

No she is not. And you ain't kidding my friend. Difference in her and I...I have my own issues extending well before M and surely before S. However, I believe in ability of doctor's to help, and my IC is helping me. I am already more different than I could have imagined.

As an ex. of her different outlook from mine. W agreed w/ me when I wanted s4 to go to a behavioral IC 2 wks ago. His 1st meeting is tomorrow. On Saturday, W asks me what made me so sure he need to go. I said "you go to the dermatologist often. What made you think you needed to go there as opposed to letting things work themselves out on their own. This doctor is a specialist like your dermatologist and exists to help people like our son. He has been in 3 different daycares and all three have said he can't listen, he is violent with other kids, and he won't follow rules. He is 4, this is not free spirit we are dealing with, these are issues." Then she nodded and said ok.

So, Sandi and Cadet (not directly quoting either) have spoken a few times as to how, after time, the WW world will begin to collapse. I think today I saw my first big taste of that (maybe not, ya'll tell me). After my post earlier today I get an email from her (she made 1st contact, this was it). Told me she left daycare crying uncontrollably. That our son made her run late, he refused to get dressed/eat/etc. She had to force him into the car. Said last night they got kicked out of her gym after 15 min b/c s4 bit another kid, he did say a kid took his ball, but she told him that he cannot respond w/ violence. She was late for a business meeting w/ a client this morning and had no time to prepare, so she blew that. Said she looked messy and disheveled and that the past two days w/ him have been like this. She can't do anything w/out him making demands of her or constantly calling for her and she is losing it (this is true, he does that to her). She closed her email saying she was "at a loss" and that she "feels hopeless" right now.

All I could tell her was that I know she feels stressed and that I am thinking of our son and her at this time. Then I said I am here to listen if she wants to talk. Felt right to say those things and I meant it. If for nothing more than my son and her relationship.

So, I am not sure if this is the type of collapse I have read about, but it sure looked and sounded like collapse to me.