CT1118-- remind me ... is your W getting help from an IC? Can you tell if the IC is any good?
She's got a lot of long-standing, difficult personal history and psychology, and until/unless she starts to deal with those, your M will be difficult. (This dimension is what your M and my M have in common).
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final