I realize this really hurts but I just keep coming back to your lawyer. He's getting paid to make the best case for you. *He* should have done his homework on who the judge is and her disposition, *he* should have known what the possible issues are w/ your financial statements, *he* should have represented those issues in the best light, *he* should have anticipated how your DB activities & letters might have been used against you.
I think you have to have some tough conversations w/ your lawyer. Maybe consider another one.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final