Husband just told me he is moving out.

[Mombear]

So last night we had a joint counseling session. It was tough - we went there with the intent of getting advice on what to tell our children. It is hard, because as I mentioned, the 9 year old knows something is up. When we told them mommy and daddy were going to a meeting, he said "Is it so you can learn to get along better and not get a divorce?" It broke my heart. And when we came back, about an hour and a half later, he was waiting outside for us, and ran up to the car saying "Did you fight? Did it work?"

On the up side, the therapist is amazing. Seriously. I've been seeing him by myself, and he encouraged me to bring in my husband, who did agree to come under the pretense of getting advice on how to tell the children about a potential divorce, and/or giving his side of the story in the hope that it helps the therapist help me move forward.

The therapist put him at ease right away, and got him talking about where he is at, how we got here. It is the most open and talkative I've seen my husband in a long time. The therapist kept pressing on the fact that he signed a lease and has a new place to live, but has no plans to move out. Got my husband to admit he's running away from his problems. Got my husband to admit that we were very much in love less than a year ago.

Where we left it was that we are going to just take a break from relationship talk, go on this family vacation next week, and then regroup with this therapist when we are back, the first week of September. My husband agreed to this.

I would not say we are in reconciliation, so much as a holding pattern. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I am actually quite confident we can have a great time as a family - we fell in love when we were traveling abroad together, and we do this very well together.

I'm fully aware there is a very high chance I'll be back here in September, but for now I feel like I need to try this. I'm not going to be needy or clingy or even bring our marriage up during the trip - I'm going to just have a good time and try to be the best "me" I can be.

Wish me luck, and be here to catch me when I fall!