Out of in house S - On My Own (11)

[vise82]

Hey,

I have let this last few texts about the birthday and grandparents time with kids really affect me. I have been really down and spinning a bit. I feel like if I answer it is some sort of finality to it. Also W still has not given me a yes or no about letting boys visit with my side of the family.

It feels like I am choosing sides. but really with W waling away she has chose it for me. Also with her not letting my boys see my side of the family feels like she is still controlling me. It has nothing to do with her life why is she not saying yes. I did agree at the time with her on this but I have changed my mind now. At least for some of my family. This severely restricts my life as if I have my boys then I can visit my family.


I have not responded yet to her request and was thinking of not responding until she give me the legal ok for family visits.

We were both at soccer last night, I said hello and then there was nothing the whole game until it was over then I said my good byes to kids and W.

Get home and she texts me to email some kid details to a care provider. No mention of the past emails.

I think I have come to the conclusion that I don't want to do joint birthday party and that her dad needs to schedule days with the kids on W days. With they way they asked I would only see the kids one day in 10 days that week.

Now its just a matter of when to communicate this with W.
I was waiting for her to ask again, but she has not yet.

She also texted me this morning about school stuff for the kids, she asked me to go shopping with the kids and she can just pay me back her percentage.

Not sure why she is asking me unless it because I have the kids Sat. Also she is the shopper out of both of us. But now I will have to ask about that, I don't have a list of what they need.

I have been feeling the need to let go. To move forward. its not even about trying to save the MR anymore, its about saving me.