Often WW dribble out the full truth over time. Maybe not wanting to verbalize/admit full extent of their behaviour or maybe to not hurt the lbs. The lbs is hurt regardless. Yes it is tough.
It can be debated whether having 3 limited A or one full on 50 shades of grey hardcore love A is worse. The best way to look back on it is that your W was not herself for a certain period of time and she did stuff you are having a hard time dealing with.
You said yourself it was really out of character. Can you think of this as a temporary phase that is finished. What happened during that time is hurtful but is behind ye. Nothing will justify her choices and it is probable that it could haunt her more than you. Also can you imagine how bad she must have felt to have gone down that path. Again I do not condone her actions, but want you to think about it.
Your W seems to be on board to work on M. That is super. You want that too. Together ye can have a better R/M, but the healing will be hard and take time.
Best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
