First off thank you for the time and effort you put into this. It means a lot to have someone else make time to help me/support me. All along you have gone beyond simply supporting me.
I will reply to your words shortly but wanted to acknowledge having read them and appreciate them.
Since my looonnngggg post I have recentered myself and I am pretty okay. The way I see it is if my W felt/feels as bad as I did/do I want to not give up on her. It is a lousy place to be. I guess I am feeling empathy and compassion instead of frustration and despair.
I know that probably rings of codependency but I don't think it is. I would love to fix her and make her happy but I accept I can't.This is more about me being who I want to be and being empathic is part of that new me.
I'll expand on this when I get the chance. But I actually am doing good.
Thanks again
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together