NYGal, I feel for you because it seems like you are in a position similar to where I was last year. The rage and getting fighting against will do more harm than good. Trust me on this. It is where I went wrong, everytime my W kept talking about what the OM was doing and coming by talking to her. I flipped out, lost control of my emotions and completely broke me down. It pushes my W away, maybe for good. I didn't have the help like here, I understand your frustration. You want to see more recognition from W, just like I did, I wanted her to see how much it was hurting me but she wouldn't see it that way. It was still all about her back then.
I don't have the advice to really help you other than to try and keep you anger and frustration in control as much as it still hurts.
