Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 3)

[ForGump]

Hey if the arrangement is that she cooks and you clean ... no problem. IMHO that's 50-50%. I don't think you ought to aim for 100% or even 58.7%. Don't give her cake, don't kiss ass. You want to communicate that this is about you being the H you want to be (hopefully w/o having to explicitly say so), not you kissing her ass to make her want to stay.

And it's great that she acknowledged that you pull your weight in the house! It's not everything, but I *sure* it counts for something in her mind.

Re: her going to IC ... to me it's strong evidence that your W hasn't made up her mind, and that she's not sure exactly what she wants, and she's feeling mixed up. She needs the IC's help to sort out what she wants. So you can look at it as glass half-empty but I see it as half-full, at least relative to her earlier declaration that she's giving the M exactly 2 years. She's got enough confused thoughts and feelings on her mind to think that her time & money is worth it.

Five years from now, when the war-dead have been counted, we can convene a DB veterans convention in some hub city ... maybe ATL, ORD, DFW ...