Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 3)

[MrBond]

" I'm trying to figure out what I can best do in the face of my W going to a shrink in town who has a reputation of helping women navigate the difficulties of divorce."

That's the thing. You can't come up with a plan of action because you really don't know how she's going to react. What you're doing is wasting energy essentially "guessing" as to what she will do. And if there's one thing you and everyone here should know by now is that the WAS is VERY UNPREDICTABLE.

Or to put it another way, there's no sense in making sense of nonsense.

"I get that DBing goes on as long as I can keep making myself fight this fight, I get that I need to try to continue to be "The Lighthouse", but I'm wondering if there's anything else, like something [b]specific[b], I could do."

Continue to do the things that get a positive response, but don't do things just to get a positive response. If it benefits you, go ahead and do it. You need to stop seeing this as a "fight". There is no winner or loser. And nothing is black and white. There are alot of gray areas that you are going to have to navigate through.

"My W has essentially hired a very expensive Validator who makes her money "supporting" women as the divorce their husbands."

So? You can't stop that from happening and it's really none of your business what your W does. She has a right to do what she feels is best for her as much as you do. Control only the things that are in your control. Leave crazy be and instead of just being the lighthouse, be the rock for your kids.