Exactly, NYGal. You say she is a people pleaser, but she knows she's not pleasing you right now. The fact she values others feelings over yours is a huge red flag. Someone who was genuinely repentant and committed to reconciliation would do anything in their power to try to make things right, and that doesn't sound like the case here.
If you set boundaries but there are no consequences for crossing them, why would she ever be motivated to respect the lines you've drawn? Right now, it seems like she realizes she can do whatever she wants and get away with it, so she will probably continue to do so.
The onus is on you to determine what you are willing to put up with, and what actions you are willing to take if crossed. W is cake eating. She is back in the comforts of your familiar relationship, but still leaving the doors open. You are unlikely to change her. The thing that can change about the situation is you.
