NYGal: Together Again and Happy!

[JRuss]

Respectfully, I think the "people pleasing" is being done by you as well. You're afraid to stand up to your W. Understandably, you've seen her come back from a very dark, faraway place, and you don't want to enforce an important boundary because it may drive her away and all "progress" will be lost. But no OW is a very, very valid deal-breaker level boundary for anyone in your position. If this is ever going to work with your WW, it has to be a new relationship built on mutual respect and trust. She's treating you like a doormat, assuming you'll give her what she wants (Plans A and B), which means there's a lack of respect, and you'll (rightly) never trust her as long as she can't even sack up and tell OW it's complete NC for good.