Then give her consequences if she won't do what you ask.
This is my concern for you. You are setting your boundary of No Contact with OW, and W is walking all over it. All repeating your boundary with no consequence is doing is making her angry. You dont need to make her understand with your boundary....you need to enforce it. Im worried that you are so attached to the outcome of this situation that you arent willing to 'risk' anything by standing up to W and being strong. If she doesnt respect this boundary of yours (and it's clear that she doesnt), what are you going to DO?
