Oldest son lives with me, my younger son has mostly been with me since wife moved out, in the last few months he has been staying with me for a fortnight then with her for the same.
My older son and I still attend church ( older son is in bible college which is connected to our church) I pulled back from serving at church which was the pastor's idea to give me a break as I wasn't in a very good frame of mind. The younger son comes along sometimes but not often. My wife has expressed to him how everyone there hates her so my son, I think , has a tainted view of church. Truth is she isn't hated, although I think some probably have lost respect for her although they don't tell me that... Just guessing.
I do think she felt pressure at the old church, certainly from me, we were a lot younger then, we left in 97'. For a long time now I've left her to work out her own walk with God.
With or without the church factor I believe we would've had problems, my wife's upbringing was really terrible, she had a grandmother that actually hated her! I mean we are talking about an 8 year old girl who new this, it was her mums mum, when she would tell her mum about it the mum wouldn't say a word to her mother, my wife felt very rejected and undefended( if that's a word) Her father had multiple affairs. When she was 12 she heard her parents having a major argument because her dad had given her mum an STD. So terrible
She, from a young age always heard her dad tell her mum that when my last child is married you and I are done. The day we literally got back from our honeymoon my father In law moved out. This delt a massive blow to my wife.
Her only sibling(brother) was your classic wayward husband, he left his wife (good woman IMO) and three kids (4, 2 and 6months) went wild then remarried, with very little contact with the kids over the years. Sad thing is my wife idealises her brother. He actually told her that if your not happy you should move on....this is what I'm up against. Plus mother in law always expressing to daughter how great it is to be free.
She definitely is troubled, even more so now with little to do with the boys, lost her job, lots of weight and family... crys a lot... Feel so sorry for her.. Just want to give her a big hug and take care of her.
It's hard for me to make sense of this whole situation.
