I am trying to make decisions based on what is best for me. But, you're right. I am a very considerate person and I am ripe for a MLCer to take advantage of. I have never been the kind of person that would intentionally do or say something to hurt someone else. That's one of the things I've come to really understand about myself. I've come to realize there is a line between being polite and considerate and not being a doormat to others.
I have a really long fuse (in spite of the rants you read on here) and someone has to push me pretty far before I react and stand up for myself. I'm also the type that tries to avoid confrontation ... at least I was. I'm much better at confronting issues now.
So much growth. Whether it's good or bad, IDK.
I think that tendency to have a long fuse may be what made H feel like he could go the "I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too" route with me. I'm beginning to wonder if my being understanding and nice to him is a signal that he's regained control and can get me to give him what he wants.
Unfortunately for H, he hasn't been around enough to see that I'm not the person he walked out on. I've changed. I choose my path ... not him. And I see what he's trying to do when he starts the mind games and manipulation tactics.
I think he's working under the assumption that I'm afraid of losing him (and I was for the longest time). That's changed.
As for him staying here, it's college football season and that's something I enjoy immensely. That will make it easy to keep busy for the two Saturday's he'll be here. I also have a week off while he's here, so I'll only see him in the evenings. That week is also already filled with appointments for hair, nails, etc and the dreaded colonoscopy I've been putting off forever.
If any R talk comes up, I will just remember my key words ... adultery, drugs, uncontrollable anger and assault of strangers along the side of the road. That should keep me pretty focused and hopefully help me avoid falling into the manipulation trap.
I have an appointment with the business attorney in a couple of days. I'm looking forward to some education and guidance.
My best to everyone. 2T
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
