NYGal, I would ask W: "If you had been traumatized and had your life turned upside down by a man who happened to be my colleague, let's say he beat and raped you, or maybe he embezzled all your money so you lost everything you owned - would you have been fine with me greeting him cordially if we bumped into him? Because that is what I feel like happened to me."

Maybe the coin will drop.

M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17