Anna 2.0

[ForGump]

Just to be clear ... at least in my case, I think it's a mix. I think my WW (who is highly judgmental due to low self-esteem, and anger-prone due to poor impulse control) always found many of my ideas and habits acutely annoying, and, while her mind was in a "let's make it work" mode, she tried really hard to repress those feelings.

But now that she's decided to divorce me, I think it's a relief for her to stop repressing those feelings of judgment and frustration against me, *and* it's ramped up further because it helps her justify wanting to give all that *she knows and remembers* is good in our partnership.

Knowing this helps me be a little more tolerant of her contempt for me, and helps me detach a little better. It helps -- it doesn't make it easy.

I think the right approach is to validate (acknowledge how she feels) but drop the rope -- don't argue on the specific points. And of course detach and GAL.