If you take your children out of the picture how do you see your thoughts and actions?
When my W and I met and dated, we had a falling out and broke up for about 4 months. That was the most excruciating emotional pain I had felt in my life. The first two months ... I was like a zombie, and was drinking too much (I'm not a heavy drinker, so it doesn't take much for me to be drinking "too much" for me). By the end of that period, I felt like I had been run over by a truck but was on my way to recovery, when, by a bit of luck, I ran into her again and we re-connected.
When she told me this time that she wanted a divorce, the depression and despair felt different to me. I can't say it was less or more. In the earlier breakup, I felt all my hopes were destroyed. This time, it felt like a life I had woven together w/ her were singed to black coal. This, despite having had many, many frustrations about her as a partner and a lover over all those married years. In fact, early in our marriage, I was surprised by many facets of her personality, and wondered whether we were going to make it.
This is a long of saying that if kids were not in the picture, I think I would have suffered just as greatly to let her go. But with kids involved, I feel like have two giant mountains to climb over. One for myself and one for my kids.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
