I would not do anything to help her. If she wants it, let her do it. This could come back to bite you later when she she says "you did this by getting the papers, what did I know I was sick". It could happen. Create a bubble of safety for u and kids and ride out the storm. Please stop making excuses for her and focus on you. She may be postmenopausal and have ssri complications but they are not excuses or reasons. Therefore going on and minimising it only hurts you more. I see your intentions are great and your pain greater. You didn't cause this, you can't fix it or control it, that's why focusing on you is best for everyone! Take good care, rooting for you.
Parents say if we pay the attorney and she changes her mind - we are out that money. Plus, you are right, it will look like I filed for divorce and I don't want that.
