Relationship between my wife and son is definitely a major issue, besides the pain it's causing my wife I know it can't be healthy for a son to have no relationship with his mum, I did send him to see a psychologist, he went weekly for about 2 months then stopped, he isn't in the same place as he was almost 2 1/2 years ago, I just can't see him lashing out as he did back then. Only way I can describe that period of time before my wife moved out is that it felt like we were living in a tornado, the boys and I could not believe what was happening, oldest son was in a state of shock, he's just not there anymore, I constantly encourage him to reach out to his mum. While his anger was concerning, they were low grade assaults, the judge was quite tough on the police prosecutor for allowing the matter to get to court, she felt that a warning would have been sufficient,so the matter was thrown out of court- no punches or anything like that... As I said though, still concerning. I agree with you about family therapy, I think my wife would be for it, not sure about my son...his attitude is " unless you go back to dad you've lost me also" that condition puts much pressure on my wife.
You are right about my wife harbouring resentment, many of us left that church, the difference for most is that we look back philosophically without too much regret, just moved on with whatever good we gained... Not so with my wife, I couldn't even play any of the worship songs we sang back then on my guitar at home because she said brings back too many bad memories, she really feels that she was robbed of what should've been some of the best years of her life.
After the affair came to light in 96, she really did change for the better, the church we moved to is quite contemporary, my wife was really free to be herself. As the years went on though she began to loose interest, plus she began to easily take offence, especially with some of the ladies at church, actually she didn't attend church for a couple of months before the bomb dropped mid 2014. Now she says that she doesn't believe in the "institution of church" anymore, plus that " they are all a bunch of hypocrites" ... really not so, just normal people, many tried to reach out to her but she changed her number the day she moved out and cut all off. Her friends now are one old school friend who I barely knew and the rest are new and I've never met.
Sandy, as I read through the different threads I haven't seen a lot that deals with someone that might be in my wife's position, having to face family and friends, to be honest most don't think very highly of her at the moment ( I haven't told her that though 😬) 1 of my brothers said that he would crash tackle me if I took her back!!! I know there are many other issues, just think that is a big one for her.
Just another thing I should mention, my wife on a few occasions has said that " I don't think your going to like the person I've become" when I ask her to describe in what way she won't explain.
