The Fight for Self II

[CT1118]

Just got out of IC an hour ago. Had not been in two weeks. Realized before I got there that what I wrote in my last post was a horrible idea. I gave IC my most recent sitch updates. IC said it sounds like I did a good job of defending my boundaries and that I have been very brave thus far and not to worry or feel like my backslide was that destructive. IC said my own response to it and how I feel about could be more destructive so to do my best to continue looking forward.

I spoke to what happened and the results of it and more things that my wayward spouse has said.IC said something is very clear from my reporting of the sitch - that my WW is very confused about who she is and what she wants. IC said she would not diagnose my WW as she was not her patient (very professional I thought) but my beliefs that latent childhood trauma, midlife concerns, and general indecision all sound accurate - leading IC to make the confusion statement. IC said what she hears is the OM is not marriage material for my WW, that WW means it when she does not understand why she is w/ this OM, and that WW does appear to be seeking what her own identity is - again, all based upon what I give to IC and IC was careful to point that out.

IC concluded w/ given the world of confused messages my WW offers me, it seems reasonable that I would struggle with how to respond. IC then told me that I am in one of the most unique situations she has ever heard. I said that sounded interesting that an IC in practice for over 30 years finds my situation unique. She expanded a bit more.
Session concluded w/ me giving IC a list of goals to help me work on.

Anyway. Today. New day.I am going to redirect attention back to detachment. Its the best for everyone, but mostly me. Its all I can do right now.

Tolerance and support appreciated from all here.