Husband just told me he is moving out.

[Mombear]

The reason I said "yes" to him was because he suffers from pretty severe fear of abandonment. Before we ended counseling, we learned that one of the major reasons behind his building an emotional wall was out of fear that I was going to leave him. This wasn't a rational fear, but to him it was very real. I was preoccupied and going through some health issues and he took my change in behavior as a sign that I was done with him. I also hadn't been very available to him sexually for awhile - not like we never had sex, but certainly not as much as he'd like.

I said yes because I didn't want to shoot him down and reinforce the narrative in his head that I was "done with him."

My goal in saying yes was to counter that narrative and reinforce that I'm here, I'm not abandoning him.

Of course I was feeling like this would be a step towards reconciling. How on earth can I tell the difference between him being a flake and him being serious?

Something else happened this morning that has made me realize that I need to be the adult here and lay down some boundaries and rules. I don't want this, but I also can't keep our family in this limbo forever.