I want things back the way they were with some changes from both of us, or I just want her to be out of my house so she can run off and find out that she is chasing a fantasy that will never happen.
Let's start over then. What are your goals? That first thing isnt going to happen. So does the second thing get you closer to your goals? If so, whats stopping you?
Originally Posted By: SadDad8
I keep thinking about her claim that I wasn't "emotionally connected" to her for this whole relationship.
Well...she tried to run out on me several times, so how exactly was I supposed to just hand over my deepest emotions to her knowing that she could bail and leave me hanging at any moment?
So if Im reading this correctly, you weren't "emotionally connected"? Regardless of your reasons, regardless of your agreement, if she felt this way, that it's valid. You cant argue with how she feels, because you cant possibly know any better than she does. My point is not to tell you that you are wrong, it's to try to help you to look at things from her perspective. How can you better empathize? This will help you to better validate! AND it will help give you direction on your own self-improvement.
My goals? If we were to get past all of this I would want to be able to have a fully trusting relationship in which I felt safe enough to lay it all out on the table. Where I could feel ok about letting her in entirely and give her the "connection" she so desperately wanted from me.
The only thing that is stopping me from pulling the plug right now is that I know she is in a deep state of confusion, depression, and denial. What is going on right now might have been sparked by previous marital issues, but it has been stoked heavily by issues with rapidly ceasing an SSRI medication and likely a hormonal imbalance due to perimenopause.
