At this point, MC is not going to succeed in getting your W where you want her. She has, and will continue, to use the MC sessions to talk about her position. She is only attending MC so that she can announce to friends & family that she has done everything to save the M......even going for MC.
It is a waste of time and money.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I'm happy that you feel motivated. What is your plan for having your wh lose you?
I kind of understand the censoring of language but this would be such a natural place for people to use more hearty language.
I have and will be spending all day with my son.
- m and ww in 30s - s4 - m 11 yrs, t12 -ilybinilwy ~5/16 + request for OM - bd 7/16, confirm ea and strongly suspected pa - 9/16 ww claimed to have broken contact with om
At this point, MC is not going to succeed in getting your W where you want her. She has, and will continue, to use the MC sessions to talk about her position. She is only attending MC so that she can announce to friends & family that she has done everything to save the M......even going for MC.
It is a waste of time and money.
I'm feeling that. What's your specific suggestion?
- m and ww in 30s - s4 - m 11 yrs, t12 -ilybinilwy ~5/16 + request for OM - bd 7/16, confirm ea and strongly suspected pa - 9/16 ww claimed to have broken contact with om
I was trying to think what my potty mouth had written, so I went back and checked, must have been the word svcks!
Well so far, I guess I've had to start to detach. He wanted space and to be left alone, so I guess that's what's happened. I'm making sure that when we are both at home, I'm busy having fun with my S. I'm GALing more and seeing people. So far, I've just had to get on with things. I invited him to join me for a sonograph, I felt as father he should be there. But he hasn't got back to me if he will. I have no expectations here whatsoever, but if he decides against going, well there's a loss for him right there. How he will feel with me withdrawing myself away from him and getting on with my own thing I don't know. He doesn't join us for family meals anymore. So that's another loss on his part.
That's great that you've been spending time with your son. It's kind of selfish in a way, I've always thought a split with children is harder because they feel it too. But you know, I think they ease it in a way. My determination to carry on and be strong is mainly for my child. I know that wh isn't spending time with him or showing him much love right now. But I know for certain he knows he has his mama!! I'm a steady lighthouse for him too, I project calm and love towards him so he doesn't feel pain
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
I'm especially sorry about your situation with your wh. It is definitely his loss to miss out on such important things.
Not to make you feel bad or brag, but one thing my ww won't say is that I haven't been a devoted dad. Even she will(at times) say that I do more than my share. I have spent most weekends with him like a single father since I could take him to parks and play areas. I even take him to the gym with me and he's very good there. This inequity has led to many fights and my crabbiness. GAL'ing is something I can't really do. I don't ever go out and have few non-work friends. As you can see, these are a few aspects of my life that would only get better on the D side of things...
- m and ww in 30s - s4 - m 11 yrs, t12 -ilybinilwy ~5/16 + request for OM - bd 7/16, confirm ea and strongly suspected pa - 9/16 ww claimed to have broken contact with om
Took son to the gym, a park, and grocery shopping yesterday. We were planning to have dinner(just the two of us) but then we wanted to go to the mall to get her phone fixed(no comment). We did that and it was fine. Ww went to a movie with friends late last night. I relaxed. The whole dynamic is definitely messed up. I know some have it better and some have it worse. Just trying to appreciate the time seeing my son every day.
- m and ww in 30s - s4 - m 11 yrs, t12 -ilybinilwy ~5/16 + request for OM - bd 7/16, confirm ea and strongly suspected pa - 9/16 ww claimed to have broken contact with om
Struggling to stay on the db path. The continuing contact with OM really eats at me in so many ways. It's so sickening. I'm constantly tempted by thoughts of D for that reason. I know I can pull that lever at any time but it's harder to go back from it. I want to fight for my family but it's so tough when Ww won't even try to make that step.
- m and ww in 30s - s4 - m 11 yrs, t12 -ilybinilwy ~5/16 + request for OM - bd 7/16, confirm ea and strongly suspected pa - 9/16 ww claimed to have broken contact with om
I'm feeling that. What's your specific suggestion?
I would just tell her that you are not going to continue marriage counseling as long as she continues to contact the OM.
Then call the MC and cancel the appointments.
Wow. Thanks sandi. Your suggestions are always strong (and scary) but I can't disagree with them. Any and all other thoughts are welcome.
- m and ww in 30s - s4 - m 11 yrs, t12 -ilybinilwy ~5/16 + request for OM - bd 7/16, confirm ea and strongly suspected pa - 9/16 ww claimed to have broken contact with om
