Look Forward & Ignore the Anger Spew

[rich4j]

Its been a few days without D7 and really my first weekend alone in the house w/out a ton of plans. I met a friend for HH friday and then a friend came to town to help me decorate...she is much better than I am at putting a house together.

I struggled alot the last 3 days. The ups and downs. My STBX has been communicating a bit via text just around some D7 stuff

I feel as she has hooked me back in with the recent "I am struggling so much right now the Divorce" stuff. I let myself think she may finally be waking up, which maybe she is, from her last 12 months of checking out and never checking back in. And that she really is starting to miss me....

It [censored]. I felt like I was starting to pull away and do alot better in my path towards figuring this all out. I went back and read some others threads and it seems its a common theme too of the "hope" that something is still there when the STBX shows a glimpse of light. And we run towards that light but the truth may be just that it means nada. That it is just really that she does miss me but still doesn't mean she loves me anymore or there is any future.

I think I know in my heart that is the fact but once again it brought me back down a bit.

Its hard to go totally dark on her and just carry on with the custody schedule and the back n forth. I am going to have to try to manage this better so I can isolate myself more from her to be able to stay in the positive zone versus the latter. Any good thoughts or recommendations welcomed....