sandi2 - thank you so much for the response! It's great food for thought. I've read it a few times trying to really understand and listen to your words of wisdom! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to my comments!
update on my weekend - yesterday was such a busy day! that started at 8am! blood donation at the peach festival, then my co worker (with the MLC bf) met up with me and we walked around and had lunch. Then I headed to my beer festival with a co worker and a friend. As we were talking my friend mentioned he was going to a baseball game after the beer festival I asked who he was going with and he said his buddy canceled and asked If I wanted to go, so I did. we left the beer festival around 530pm and got back from the game around 1030pm. Went to a bar to have a beer. All college kids are back and all bars were crazy packed but we managed to have a good time. made it home at 1am. This morning I had a little side job from 9am-12 and I'm headed to the polish food festival after I finish typing (alone gooo me!). Then just going to relax at home probably watch netflix.
I had a lot of fun yesterday. I do feel guilty though, not sure why or exactly about what. I did think of my W a lot yesterday. Especially during the baseball game, (last time she went to a game was on a date a few weeks ago) so that was sad. But also thought about how I wished she was with me doing what I was doing. We had a lot of fun together before so having fun makes me miss "our" fun. I don't know. I can't quite articulate my thoughts and feelings right now. I feel weird. I feel "off". not sure why.
No word from W. I guess it's a good thing since most of our interactions are no longer pleasant.
I'm thinking of getting a bed soon. This pull out couch isn't working and this living arrangement looks like is going to be more permanent than I had wished. The room is big enough for the couch and a queen bed and all my furniture. Just gotta check with my friend / roommate. I had originally asked if I could stay until W decided if she was moving away (with or without me) but now that W staying I need to make sure I can live here for at least a year while I pay off some debt and get my life on a decent track. thinking of buying a bed seems so...i don't know. W has "our" bed and I'll have "my" bed. my own lonely bed.
I must go, I'm not saying much and I'm wasting polish food eating time.
