With depression, I think it helps to realize that it's often the depression talking. That's not a helpful thing to point out to him, obviously 😉, but it helps me to keep it in mind.
When H and I discuss past depressive episodes, it's amazing how differently we remember them.
Hang in there.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16