What should I be doing (Working toward D 9)

[roist]

I am no vet, but I read ohope in that conversation.Her words are nor perfect. Her sentiments neither. I think deep down both of you prefer to stay together. You are right to not want that without the right conditions and commitment from her.

Sandi can hit me with a 2x4 if she disagrees, but maybe your actions/reactions and interactions contributed to her not following the path you wanted. I am not putting the blame on you, but maybe you prevented conditions being ideal/more suited to her putting in the effort..

That being said, all along she has made choices and she is not 100% committed. Maybe no matter what you did/do the timing was/is not right for her.

I urge you to work on getting passed your anger and resentment for your sake. It will poison you and counteract all the good work that you have done.. I understand those feelings and they are legitimate but going forward, even alone you should work through them.

Lastly it must feel good to communicate without filtering your words/thoughts. Maybe your words will filter through her fog and she will really hear you and realise your truth. But do not count on that. She is clinging to her truth, for now. As an outsider I can.see how both of ye could be right in your viewpoint, though for the record that does not justify an A....for me.

Your W plays down the affair. She is still hurt and protecting herself. She is not in s place where she can fully commit right NOW. Maybe neither of you are. Space and time are what both of you need. Don't burn your bridges. Maybe you will choose to never recross that bridge and maybe you will never even pass by that bridge,but just in case be mindful to not burn it!

Best wishes