I think this is a spot on illustration of the Rashomon effect. 2 (or more) people seeing the same event but having completely different memories of it.
She recognizes she did wrong, but refuses to work with you in any way on your #1 boundary and doesn't accept how much she hurt you. Because of that, you're afraid it'll just restart and you'll be hurt again. It seems there is common love, but neither of you will give. You want her away from a male dominated area where a pretty woman will receive oodles of attention, and she wants to do something for herself she feels is giving back, fun and will keep her from having empty nest syndrome.
I think, like CBT, if you moved out and maybe gave a little on the FF you could really work on things. But, again, we all have our boundaries and FF is #1 for you....
Me: 35 W: 32 S: 4 T: 6 M: 4 Physical Separation official: 5/21 Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son
Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
